Nic Cage essay

Nicholas Cage spent his salad days training and preparing to be an actor by riding a rodeo horse. He felt the balance that went into this activity was what he needed to become a truly gifted actor. And he was right.

The youthful Nic Cage got his first film role because the casting director thought his arms looked like those of a young Charlton Heston. Also because he was related to the best boy. He had no lines and appeared only briefly but he was on his way to the top. Unfortunately he was cut out of the final film but the cast and crew said he gave a stunning performance.

After this blow he decided to move into the props department where he unwittingly ended up in frame and into the film. Thus winning him his first feature film appearance. This got him noticed and he quickly got lots of work as a catalogue model and tour guide on a ghost trail.

After these additions to his CV he was ready to tackle Hollywood with leading man status. Almost immediately he got his first blockbuster and soon monopolised the action film market, starring in all the films about the invention of the spade amongst numerous others.

This phenomenal streak of excellence carried on through the decades and although he enjoyed it immensely he decided to start taking roles in more weighty films where he could stretch himself mentally and literally and gain more critical respect by starring in such films as the Wickerman.

helecopter

Speed vs sleep essay

There is a new sport on the scene that is getting all the young sports fans excited. The sleepwalkers vs. speed walkers hundred-yard dash. It was started by an enterprising young shot-putter called Leonard Pattison. He was unhappy with his progress in his local sport team and the regional woman’s semi final saw him come in a disappointing 5th. He decided to come up with a new event where he was sure to succeed. Drawing on his finest accomplishments he remembered the time when sleep walking he had jumped over his garden pond and fence into his neighbours garden landing skilfully in their recycling bin. He immediately thought this would be pitted perfectly against the institution that is speed walking. His great grandmother had been a locally known speed walker. She had not shown any proficiency at this but gained notoriety from her outlandish dress and elaborate costumes she adorned every second Tuesday.

Leonard staged his first official race in his back garden. With him competing against his younger brother and dog. Unsurprisingly this was a tremendous success and garnered them an article in a national paper and many celebrity fans. After forming an official society and accepting many new members, the sport grew. After this things went even better. Local stadia accepted the team’s bid to host events there. These drew large crowds of baying fans. They moved further and further afeild reaching as far as Middlesborough. The fans started to get more and more avid. Dressing like their favourite runners and demanding various body parts be signed.

The races can be hard to arrange as the sleepwalkers must have a bed or similar set up on the track and spend the night before sleeping there. The speed walkers must wait in readiness. Sometimes things go wrong and the timing of the sleepwalkers does not coincide. In this event they simply halt the race and set up again the following day. The competitors and audience seem to enjoy this as it builds up a sense of excitement and anticipation.

The speed walkers have to alter their style and use the “slow-speed walking” method. This was invented by Leonard’s mum in order to make the race between speed walkers and sleepwalkers more even. It seems to work very well and has proven so popular a new event has been created just for it.

Leonard has profited immensely from his idea, not only is he world sleepwalking champion he has also made over £1700 selling his sport to business woman Maureen Tallbake who owns a laundrette’s near where Leonard first sleepwalked.

house party 2 playlist

party at the secret dogship 20th april 2007






big thanks to everyone especially our host

also thanks to uberjugend and vikisellotape


mega thanks to your loyal subjects and hey enemy for rocking out. plus to my boy for coming along but failing to bring their dj stuff.

this is what was played, not in this order:




!!!-intensify

dj slugo-where the rats?

kavinsky-autodrive (oizo remix)

the rapture-sister saviour(blackstrobe remix)

princess superstar-sex,drugs & drugs (mr no remix)

kissy sell out-her

busy p-rainbow man

splack pack-too much booty in the pants

2 live crew-big booty hoes

b-52s-cosmic thing

heaven 17-penthouse and pavement(12" remix)

dj mink-hey! hey! can you relate

outkast-ghetto musik(benny benassi mix)

haunted house-blazers

haunted house-euro poof

haunted house-crystal peaks

haunted house-dork beat

haunted house-ibiza

kc and the sunshine band-shake shake shake

haircut 100-favourite shirts(boy meets girl)

spank rock-lindsay lohan

kid sister-damn girl

flosstradamus-act a fool

jt-my love(linus loves remix)

does it offend you yeah?-weird science

curtis vodka-sexy sweden

mohammed rafi-jaan pehechaan ho

prodigy-girls

girls aloud-long hot summer

xxxchange-shake em down

the contours-do you love me

the shirelles-will you love me tomorrow

daft punk-face to face(cut copy remix)

who made who-hello empty room(cut copy remix)

chromeo-needy girl

alec empire-killing machine

mstrkrft-work on you

asbo vs the flirts-let the passion hit em

new order-subculture

divine-shoot your shot(dance mix)

material and rona hendry x-burstin out

the presets-down down down

devo-strange pursuits

polysics-i my me mine

lcd soundsystem-north american scum

thin lizzy-waiting for an alibi

peaches-you love it

liquid liquid-sweet harmony

prodigy-poison

altern8-frequency

killing joke-the wait

adam ant-desperate but not serious

martha and the muffins-swimming

erasure-i love to hate you

sisters of mercy-vision thing

dave bowie-diamond dogs

dead kennedys-holiday in cambodia

the cramps-sunglasses after dark

joy division-warsaw

justice-phantom

sebastian-ross ross ross

4/4 playlist

henry's cellar bar

4th may

w/ i am blip, miss the occupier, technophobes and loss leader






the specials-do the dog

urgh!-uncontrollable urge

subway sect-nobody's scared

bauhaus-kick in the eye

the spades-you're gonna miss me

alton ellis-it's a shame

the gaylads-joy in the morning

mr vegas-to the bank

paris hilton-fighting over me

ina hagan-african reggae


loss leader



ministry-n.w.o

cabaret voltaire-yahsar(john robie remix)

munk-disco clown(cut copy remix)

har mar superstar-cut me up

busy p-rainbow man

sparks-beat the clock


technophobes



suicide-be bop kid

malaria!-your time to run

hot chip-sexual chocolate

japan-quiet life

!!!-a new name


miss the occupier




good shoes-photos

orange juice-lovesick

fad gadget-ricky's hand

the teenagers-homecoming(remix)

edu k-sexomatic

sebastian-greel



i am blip

house party 1 playlist

here is what we played at house party number one plus some photos. thanks to all who came and danced. big hugs to our host.

in no order:



audion-just fucking

the presets-down down down(digitalism remix)

the riptides-machine gun

buddy love-heartbreak hotel

andrew sisters & glenn miller-beer barrel polka

grace jones-my jamaican guy

bono must die-sexyback

daft punk-human after all(guy man after all justice remix)

calvin harris-acceptable in the 80s(tom neville remix)

shitdisco-gabba reaktor

the rapture-w.a.y.u.h(simian mobile disco remix)

shades of rhythm-ecstacy

kelis-bossy(switch remix)

snap-rhythm is a dancer

skin up- a juicy red apple

girls aloud-the show

pussycat dolls-i dont need a man

uffie-ready to uff(chuck chillout mix)

the sounds-tony the beat(rex the dog remix)

bodyrox feat luciana-yeah yeah

princes superstar ft disco d-fuck me on the dancefloor

nelly furtado ft mr vegas-promiscuous

patrick swayze-she's like the wind

lumidee-she's like the wind

mr vegas-hot fuck

dwight yoakum-i want you to want me

gang of four-i love a man in uniform

balkan beat box-bulgarian chicks

the gossip-listen up(mstrkrft remix)

jt-my love(diplo remix)

jt-my love(dfa remix)

anita ward-ring my bell

clipse-let's talk about it

frankie goes to hollywood-relax

crystal castles-(dunno, wasnt airwars though)

the fall-2 librans

centurians-intoxica

bunkerhill-red ridin hood and the wolf

little richard-long tall sally

jan davis-watusi zombie

new young pony club-get lucky

kraftwerk-pocket calculator(remix)

the knife-you take my breath away

lcd soundsystem-someone great

dead disco-the treatment(metronomy remix)

vhs or beta-night on fire

mstrkrft-the looks

the whip-trash

justice-one minute to midnight

phantom limbs-active verbs

datarock-nightflight to uranus

spandau ballet-to cut a long story short

b-52s-52 girls

the cure-jumping someone else's train

motormark-2-2 city girls

crystal castles vs health-crimewave

you say party! we say die!-he! she! you! me!

alec empire-everything starts with a fuck

justice-kokaine(drokz remix)

altern8-hypnotic state

le tigre-the the empty

!!!-must be the moon

the flirts-danger

devo-peekaboo

lcd soundsystem-on repeat

sebastian-ross ross ross

t.raumschmiere ft miss kitten-the game is not over

jenny wilson-let my shoes lead me forward

david bowie-sound and vision





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KAOSS PAD!!!



come on baaaabyyy liiiiigghht myy fiiiiiiiiiiire



serious dudage

2/3 playlist

2/3 set


from friday night, up granny's chimney.

with special guest dj dougie doug doug doug = doug




we are the physics-less than three

metronomy-you could easily have me

bloc party-the prayer

fox n wolf-in yr underwear

dfa 1979-little girl (erol alkan remix)

morrissey-first of the gang to die

bette bright and the illuminations-my boyfriend's back

metric-monster hospital(mstrkrft remix)

adam and the ants-stand and deliver

foals-french open (demo)

the rapture-the sound

jt-sexyback(tylerfedchukmix)

charles and eddie-would i lie to you

css-meeting paris hilton

digitalism-jupiter room(martian assault edit)

chromeo-you're so gangsta

haunted house-ibiza

nump feat federation and e-40-grapes

dick dale-shake n stomp

bo diddley-hey! bo diddley


the faint-glass danse

white stripes-seven nation army nation army

ac/dc-you shoot me all night long

queens of the stone age-no one knows

scott walker-jackie

liars-mr your on fire mr

klaxons vs hadouken!

black chiney feat r kelly-sexy girls

mr vegas-to the bank

new young pony club-get lucky(dancey edit)

the young knives-weekends and bleak days(hot summer)

ini kamoze-here comes the hotstepper

Datarock essay

Datarock are a universally famous swing beat band in the traditional style of Yello. They consist of two ferociously handsome human males from a restaurant called the Himalayas situated in Prague's quaint health spa district. They first formed early in the 17th century and have been steadily putting out an album of classic gypsy melodies once a year since then. Except in 1998 when they had a brief sabbatical whilst one of them considered joining a monastery. They write their songs on a Botswanan computer programme called 'Where's The Love Pappy?'. It creates uniquely piquant bleeps, which are integral to their sound and why people love them so much. When recording their "songs" they go out to a meadow near the cottage where they live together and construct a tent out of Clingfilm so as to protect them from the elements whilst they lay down their "love". They roll sausages out of play dough and use these to make percussion sounds on nearby cows. They also use a set of drums. They play their guitar using one hand, as their guitar player is extremely dextrous. It does not contribute to the sound or overall effect but means he can sip a cup of tea whilst playing. They sing down empty toilet roll tubes sometimes even kitchen paper and foil tubes as they feel this adds something to the vocal sound. Although this is a contentious idea which many people say actually detracts from their sound but Dataraock are adamant that without using this technique their music would mean nothing. They wear a stunning set of red tracksuits, which were hand crafted by their tour manager's grandmother using an old knitting style and Peruvian lizard's lips as yarn. Their influences are extremely broad, ranging all the genres and decades. They cite them as being: Bobby Brown. When they play live they encourage the audience to join in with the night's fun. They do this by ordering individual members of the crowd to tight rope walk over guitar strings. This activity has resulted in a number of near fatal injuries so they have since stopped doing this and instead just enter the crowd and tango with them.

Some photogogs of our inspirations and life experiences

The Spade (an essay)

When the spade was first created in March 1926 it was laughed at and ridiculed. People thought it was a fad and would never last. Back in those days people had big hands and thought that they could do the job perfectly well and wondered why they would need such a tool. Part of the reason they thought this was because the first incarnation of the spade was sculpted out of potato peelings.




the peeling era
With the coming of the industrial revolution, the invention of the Steam Powered Potato Peeler led to longer, stronger peelings. These endless strands of excess spud seemed to form into curious rectanges with long thin necks and small handle shapes. One day crisp factory owner Dennis Spade lost his hands in a Peeling Machine and didnt have any way of digging for more potatoes. Making full use of his great mind, Dennis thus realised the wonderful potential of the peelings. On that day he named the new digging tool a 'Dennis Spade' which was shortened to 'Spade' in September 1926. Soon every crisp factory and chip shop in the land had a spade although the general masses would take many more years to catch on to the trend.

The limpness of the early spade was proving to be a bit annoying. This was rectified a few months later by some brain box and made instead of mould. This phase of the spade lasted quite adequately for around 20 years until 1946 when it was cast from metal with a wooden handle.






Modern spade
This was a revelation. A monumental moment in human history. Countless books have been written about this. The most comprehensive of which being "A Spade Is Not Just A Spade" by Jean Floyyd-Cart and the most entertaining one containing many amusing anecdotes and delectable morsels of gossip: "Spading It Up" by Dr Brian R Springheel PhD. There have also, of course, been several very popular blockbuster and a few art house films made of this incredible period in spade time. Many famous artists have also immortalised this moment in timeless and exquisite pieces, including Michelangelo and Jeff Koons.





The spade has proven to be one of, if not the, most important addition to life on planet earth. It has survived through the ages, through many experimentations with size, colour, girth, weight and flavour. Perhaps one day it will transcend this planet and become the first implement in space and our contribution to alien civilisations.

23/12 playlist

Sunday, December 24, 2006
From last night at Henry's. With Chris Bradley live.

!!!-Feel Good Hit Of the Fall
The Crunch
Grace Jones-She's Lost Control
The Rulers-Wrong Em Boyo
Tenor Saw-Ring the Alarm
Clash-Junco Partner
Blood Sisters-Ring My Bell
The Maytones-Sentimental Reason
The Gaylads-Young, Gifted and Black
The Beat-Mirror In the Bathroom
The Au Pairs-We're So Cool
Gang Of Four-I Found That Essence Rare
The Rapture—Out Of the Races and Onto the Tracks
Martha and the Muffins-Echo Beach
Supersystem-Miracle
The Young Knives-Weekends and Bleak Days(Hot Summer)
ELO-Mr Blue Sky
Fun Boy Three-Our Lips Are Sealed
Clor-Good Stuff

CHRIS BRADLEY

Ron Sexsmith-Maybe This Christmas
Gossip-Yesterdays News
Aretha Franklin-Rocksteady
Patti Smith-Gloria
Joan Jett-Bad Reputation
Sex Pistols-Substitute
The Organ-Basement Band Song
The Smiths-William It Was Really Nothing
Bricolage-Flowers Of Deceit
Neon Plastix-On Fire
Klaxons-Atlantis To Interzone(Crystal Castles Remix)
Manhead-Birth School Work Death
Professor Murder-Free Stress Test
The Faint-Agenda Suicide(Adult Remix)
The Knife-Heartbeats
Le Tigre-Phanta
The Rakes-Strasbourg
Metronomy-Black Eye/Burnt Thumb
James White and the Blacks-Contort Yourself
Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Y Control
Gossip-Standing In the Way Of Control(Soulwax Nite Version)
CSS-Let's Make Love and Listen To Death From Above(Spank Rock Mix)
Buzzcocks-What Do I Get?
Jilted John-Gordon Is A Moron
The Human League-Sound Of the Crowd
Prince-1999
Babe Ruth-the Mexican
The Knack-My Sharona
The Smiths-Hand In Glove
The Kinks-All Day and All Of the Night
Rolling Stones-Get Off Of My Cloud
Pulp-Babies
Buddy Holly-Brown Eyed Handsome Man
The Go! Team-Ladyflash(Hot Chip Mix)
Mother and the Addicts-Oh God Stop Hurting Me
Paris Hilton-Caught Up In the Rapture
Simian Mobile Disco-the Count
Shitdisco-Reactor Party
Johnny Cash-Ring Of Fire

21/12 playlist

Friday, December 22, 2006
21/12 set
Mope the Cloak and the Demon Slug
Henry's Cellar Bar
21st December
With the bands Hey Enemy, Conflict Diamonds and Your loyal subjects.

Clash-Lightning Strikes(Not Once But Twice)
Daft Punk-Harder Better Faster Stronger (Neptunes Mix)
Bob Dylan-She's Your Lover Now
Yo La Tengo-It's Christmas Time
Brian Eno-Baby's On Fire
Eminem vs Shakira-Without Me/Whenever, Wherever
Ice T-I'm Your Pusher
Jenny Wilson-Let My Shoes Lead Me Forward
Gang Of Four-Not Great Men
Orange Juice-Tongues Begin To Wag
Love and Rockets-So Alive
X Mal Deutchland-Begrab Mein Hertz
The Birthday Party-Zoo Music Girls
Pullsalama-The Devil Lives In My Husband's Body
Devo-Mongoloid
Pixies-Alec Eiffel
The Police-Message In a Bottle

HEY ENEMY

The Who-Christmas
Zombina and the Skeletones-Red Planet
Chuck Berry-Run Rudolph Run
Klaxons-Totum On the Timeline
Spandau Ballet-Highly Strung
The Presets-Are You The One
Manic Street Preachers-Of Walking Abortion
Buzzcocks-Boredom
Tom Lehrer-(I'm Spending) Hanukkah In Santa Monica
The Teardrop Explodes-Reward
The Sonics-Don't Believe In Christmas
The Gossip-Standing In the Way Of Control(Soulwax Nite Version)

CONFLICT DIAMONDS

The Fall-Pacifying Joint
L7-Wargasm
Shadow Riechenstein - Carnival Macabre
Shellac-Jailbreak (R)
ACDC-Givin' the Dog a Bone
Dead Kennedys-Moon Over Marin

YOUR LOYAL SUBJECTS

Sparks-Thank God It's Not Christmas
Plastic Bertrand-Ca Plane Pour Moi
Creedence Clearwater Revival-Commotion
Hopeton Lewis & The Chosen Few-Boom Shacka Laka
Dillinger and the Bretford-Hi Fashion Christmas
Dexys Midnight Runners-Thankfully Not Living In Yorkshire It Doesn't Apply
Hava Nagila
Sam & Dave-Hold On! I'm A Comin'
The Beatles-Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
White Trash-I Still Don't Love You
Bo Diddley-Hey! Bo Diddley
Genuwine-Pony(Booty Bass Remix)
Psyche-Sex Dwarf
New Order-586
New Young Pony Club-Get Lucky(Dancey Edit)
Tom Waits-Jocky Full Of Bourbon (R)
A Certain Ratio-Do the Du
Sigue Sigue Sputnik-Love Missile F1-11
The Gun Club-Sex Beat
Joey Ramone-Maria Bartimoro
Destiny's Child-8 Days Of Christmas
Dave Bowie-John I'm Only Dancing
Creedence Clearwater Revival-the Midnight Special